Journal Entry, Dec. 2001

I remember looking into the mirror when I was 12 and thinking “Wow!! Is that me??” I had looked into mirrors before, but never had the same experience. I remember seeing myself and not recognizing myself at all. The concept of me being able to think, and have a body simultaneously was suddenly so hard to grasp. I noticed how internalized the world I lived in was. Everyone and everything I had ever encountered, including my own physical body, really only existed to me inside of me [within my mind].

As I grew older, I had this experience over and over. Is that thing in the mirror all I really am? Is that all that other people see when they think of me? The more I thought about it, the more I thought that the thing in the mirror wasnt me at all. It had nothing to do with me…